I don't know how I've written so much that I've forgotten about, but things keep surfacing from my sea of half-conceived material. Here's a narrative I found today sans editing, of course. I think I have a strange fixation with raw literary material. Bad habits.
“Impeccable form!”
“No one can quite pull off the princely look as you do.” Nikolas strained his muscles, contorting his body in to dramatic poses, reminiscent of Greek statuary. “Now you have a meeting at-”
“Jeeves, haven’t I told you not to bother me while I’m flaunting myself”
“Terribly sorry sir, it must’ve slipped my mind.” Jeeves paced about the room, opening the various draperies covering the windows.
“A meeting with my father?”
“Yes”
The skies darkened in a fashion that a frail, sentimental author would describe with a word such as ‘suddenly’. Thunder like the rumbling of drums boomed with deafening might. The ornate double doors of the room exploded open, revealing a hulking man-figure, but not an all together handsome one: just really muscular.
“Dude! You need to leave right now!”
“Holy shit what’s going on?!”
“Your brother’s trying to kill you!”
“What!?”
“With a GUN!”
“Fuck!”
“Let’s go!”
“Yeah!”
Nikolas, Jeeves and the hulking, muscular but not attractive dude fled the room with dramatic languidness, winding through the castle’s labyrinthine halls. (They’ve been in a castle, by the way.)
“We’ll take the rails” The three ended their dash in an ambiguous area, rendering the space incapable of reasonable description regarding size or form. Whether this was due to the character’s inability to discern their surroundings or if it was a certain author being struck with paralyzing flaccidness is up to the reader’s discretion, but there were definitely tools relating to the maintenance of rail ways.
“There he is! Get him!” A troupe of guards charged in to the ambiguous space, cantankerousness abound. The trio hauled a mine cart to a departing rail, hopped in and sped down the first incline, totally averting the troops, who happen to suck eggs.
“See ya later alligator!” Nikolas taunted jubilantly.
“A positively demeaning gesture, sir”
“Thank you, Jeeves”
But who is this mysterious hulking yet mildly unattractive character Nikolas and Jeeves are with? Why haven’t I told you his name? And what of this seemingly brother? And Nikolas is going to miss his meeting with his Pops! He’ll totally get grounded! All this and more answered! …Later
There was an uncomfortable pause. “We have the weirdest narrator” Nikolas pointed out plainly.
“Agreed”, added Jamison Von Hubenhach II who is actually the mysterious hulking figure of only average beauty.
“I hate to interrupt, sir, but we seem to have guests on the rail.” Ahead, Nikolas’ brother, vanguarding an entourage of soldiers, stood ready to intercept the two (plus Jamison).
“Jump?”
“Sounds good” The trio leapt from the mine cart, plummeting to the city below because the rail track was actually suspended above the city. Why isn’t this type of plan done more often? It’s a totally fantastic idea! The cart continued on, crashing in to the cavalcade before EXPLODING (oh my goodness why did that happen), unleashing an INTENSE FIERY PLUME OF SCORCHING MISERY.
“Why the hell did that explode?”
“Sorry bout that. Left my stash of TNT in there”
Nikolas glared at Jamison with disgust as profound as life itself, shaming the humorous reality with eyes piercing enough to maul Jamison a new one.
The three totally pulled off epic rolls down the tapered roofs of the city’s residential district, landing in the streets without even minor disturbances to their exquisite hair-dos or their lavishly luxurious laundry.
“You never know when your cinematic-style espionage classes will pay off”
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